It was nice to go through this class already having my coaching model sketched, written, & printed. It solidified how I created it & why, as well as what it’s use is for. It was also fun sharing my model with the class, even if I had to describe it verbally rather than having the class go to the discussion board and look at it visually.

What was interesting is that Angela, the instructor, gave concrete reasons as to why it’s a negative to have a model - and then said that she doesn’t have one herself! Overall the class was structured as to why it’s a good idea to have your own coaching model & how to make it true to yourself, but still…it was odd. Why have someone teach a class - especially a class that speaks about something you need to graduate - that doesn’t use the tool she’s teaching about? It was interesting, & helped me see how there could be a downside to having a model, especially if it’s not being reconstructed as your coaching style changes or is being used too rigidly (which could lead to boredom and predictability).

Regardless, I love my coaching model. It helped me hone in on my strengths & individuality as well as allowing me to show my clients how each session will be shaped & how they will reach their goals. I plan to frame it & put it above my work station - that is, when I get one!

I love my sessions with Client B, a soul-searching, spiritual enlightened woman who is constantly discovering who she wants to be when she grows up! And, as someone who has already gone through a coaching-like program, she teaches me something every session. Today she said, “Forgiveness & release is a day-to-day process” and it gave me chills. As a former grudge-holder who is yet unable to say to certain people, “Yes, I forgive you, let’s move on & forget about it” this really spoke to me. I think that most people were instilled with the value of “forgive & forget”, but how easy is this really? It might be easy when the thing that you’re forgiving/forgetting is fairly unconsequential, but what if it’s not? What if the actions of your best friend ripped your heart out, but you want to “forgive & forget”, even if it’s years later? As you might be able to tell, this is something I’m personally going through now and am having big problems with. It might be easy to forgive, but it’s forgetting that’s the hard part. If you view this, though, as a day-to-day process, it’s easier to take that guilt that’s hanging over you out of the equation. Instead of beating yourself up with questions of why you still resent your best friend, you can acknowledge those feelings & not give yourself a guilt trip over feeling that way.

We actually spoke a lot about acknowledging our “bad” feelings today, which I feel is a common obstacle for most women today. In 2008, we’re expected to be strong, independent, responsible, nurturing, & always smiling/chipper/positive. We end up making sure that everyone around us is taken care of, usually at the expense of our own self-care. When we have a “bad” feeling come up (anger, fear, frustration, et al) we try to make it go away as fast as we can. Quick! Get rid of it before anyone sees!

But the outcome of pushing those feelings down - or of not even acknowledging them to begin with - is a permanent state of unease and falsity with a 0% chance of turning around the situation that has made you feel angry/frustrated/upset in the first place. At least if you acknowledge (I know I should find a synonym for “acknowledge”, but I just like that word so much!) that you’re in a “bad” feeling, and give it a name (”Am I angry? Frustrated? Not in control?”), and discover why you’re feeling this feeling (”My boss didn’t acknowledge my hard work”, “I hate this stupid job”, “I’ve had spinach stuck in my teeth all day”) you can then (a) allow yourself to take some time and really feel this feeling until the end of the ride or (b) allow yourself to focus on your breathing for 30 seconds so you can get past it & reflect on it. Either way, it’s going to allow you to discover what prompts these feelings so you can figure out how to circumvent it while also allowing you to be true to yourself & not bottle things up inside.

As you can tell, Client B and I really had nothing of importance to say to each other today

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Today I’m grateful for unstructured Saturdays.

These sessions with Client B are so exciting, & gets me in such a great place as both a coach and as a person. I’m not sure if it’s because Client B is an articulate woman who has experience in personal development & is aware of her own UACs, but the coaching comes so “easy” with her. It’s easy for me to listen, and to talk (but not too much & not to advise), to enthuse & to question. She even coached me today when we explored the power of words, & she remarked “Imagine if every person in the world used their words to only speak their truth”.  That’s obviously a lofty goal for everyone, but we’re working to find the words that empower her and motivate her , which are different words than those that empower me (or you!).

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I’m grateful today for having Client B start my weekend off right for the next 10 weeks!

This class sparked something in me to sketch out my coaching model right there and then, in the middle of class! I know, I know, I have been taking the monounitasking challenge (you have been reading When I Grow Up Coach: The Blog, haven’t you?) and doing this during class is absolutely falling off that horse, but I just had to! Then, when class was over (see, I did wait until the end!) I went to the computer and came up with a model that I would just LOVE to show you, but am not tech savy enough to do so. You can’t attach something on a blog, huh? Learn something new every day.

Anyway, if you’re an ICA student, you can see it here. For those non-ICAers, you should be able to check it out on my website soon!

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I’m grateful for my second wind!

I don’t think I wrote after my last session - I’m so fired.

This session was great because Holly & I brainstormed as to all the ways I can freely/cheaply market myself. I really thought that I had all of my bases covered, but I discovered so many more ways to get When I Grow Up out there into the creative world! Now I need to find the time to do it……

As an actress, the applause and the laughter of the crowd was the reward. As a coach, it’s the silences, the “I have goosebumps!” and the excitement that you get through the phone that gives you that high. It’s hearing your clients light-bulb moment, and feeling their enthusiasm over jumping that hurdle that will get them to the next step of reaching their goal.

I started Session 1 with my first peer client (who is an ICA student, as opposed to my external client who was - at least at first- not associated with the school) today. It was nerve wracking because I only knew her though her emails and her intake forms, and she’s older than most of my peers or what I thought would be my target audience. Thankfully, it turned out that my worrying was all for naught! We immediately clicked, her friendly voice inviting me into her life, sharing her story and what she’s already discovered about herself. We uncovered some UACs that she only covered superficially before, and I got the silence, the inhale of breath, the “I’ve got goosebumps!” and the “Y’know, I never saw it that way, but it’s absolutely true.”

I think we uncovered many wants, and I know we’ll have plenty to work on and do over the next 11 weeks. I’m so excited to see where this vibrant, enthusiastic, vulnerable (in the fact that she’s open to new things & is focusing now on what makes her life fulfilling) woman will go!

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I’m grateful for a beautiful Saturday and the start of a wonderful weekend.

I can not believe my sessions with Client A are over! There’s a sense of loss, but also of pride and accomplishment. I mean, unless she was blowing smoke up my arse when she filled out my evaluation, she has grown so much - the sessions really meant something to her! And even though there wasn’t an earth shattering moment in each session that I could see, she said that she left every session motivated and excited to start on her challenge, even when it was something that was scary to her.

I start with my client on Saturday, and I’m really going to focus on two things:

* mirroring what she’s saying to make sure it’s clear to both of us

* asking if she wants advice before giving it

Those are my two weak points right now. But I also know my strong points! I definitely have the ability to motivate and encourage, and to empower the client with a sense of self-worth. I love that that was one of the main things that Client A got from our sessions - realization that she was selling herself short and she has the skills, the personality, and the drive to make things happen in her life! I was thinking of having a niche for those that have low self-esteem, but do those that have low self-esteem know it? Can they recognize it and seek help for it? I’m not too sure of that.

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I’m grateful today for my life. Is that too broad? I’m grateful for my job, my family, my friends, my pre-husband, my coaching…….I just have that spine-shivering moment where everything just seems like it’s in the right place.

I know that this is so important that I put these classes on my calendar weeks ago! I’m looking forward to the day where I can have my very own unique coaching model - a visual representation (and reminder!) of my coaching process. And now that I’m starting on my 2nd client hopefully I can get better insight into how I actually coach! I definitely know what’s important to me (sense of excitement, active listening, celebration, encouragement, passion) and what makes me different (sense of humor, enthusiastic) but I can’t wait to really dissect it and put it down in a cohert way. I’m picturing printing it up and framing it above my desk! Well, when I get a desk that is.

I thought that the best part of this class was when Jim asked us, right at the top, to define coaching. Or rather, “How do you define coaching?” I was the first to respond (was it my elevator speech talking?), remarking “It’s helping a client close the gap between where they are and where they want to be.” For others coaching was about “crafting a unique strategy and approach for each client to lead to their self-discovery” or “two people coming together, having a dialogue & interacting as they seek to look for answers, inspiration, and insight.” It was really eye-opening to see that there wasn’t ONE definition of coaching. Everyone gets their own!

I immediately wanted to add to my definition. It’s not only about closing the gap between point A and point B, but about:

* discovering the client’s values

* clarifying what the client wants for themselves

* actively listening, questioning, supporting, & encouraging

* allowing the client to see a new perspective on things

* challenging the client to act

* following up & offering feedback

* celebrating!

How can you wrap that up into one little coaching model?

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I’m grateful today for the wonderful feedback I got from Client A! It makes me giddy whenever I think about the things she said. I’m just glad I didn’t have to give her her money back

Nothing much to write about celebrating because….we didn’t talk about celebrating. Instead, the instructor coached a classmate for about 30 minutes, but because of what she was being coached on there wasn’t a lot of celebrating going on.

I did like the statement that Merci started off with, though:

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more you have in life to celebrate”

Ain’t that the truth? It’s the rule of attraction, too (although I don’t really believe in all of that hippie stuff). But it absolutely has to do with your outlook on life, and whether you’re a glass-half-empty or a glass-half-full type of guy/gal. If you’re looking at half-full glasses, you’re gonna have a half-full life!

I was a COACH today! I just felt it. I knew it. I was listening, and asking questions, and enthusing, and celebrating, and WOW!

Client A is so funny because she started the session by saying “I feel so bad because I come to you each week as someone different.” And she ain’t kidding! But that’s what I love about working with her. She gets psyched about something, and she acts on it. And not only does she act on it, she acts on it with vim! And vigor! And other words that start with v (vivaciousness?)!

Only 1 session left to go, and I’m so glad that I put myself out there to keep coaching. I’ve realized that my classes have been put on the back burner, but it doesn’t concern me as much. Coaching is the way you learn, and the classes supplement that.

I’m going to be a coach! Holy crapballs.

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Today I’m grateful for being grateful, if that’s allowed.