Category Archive

REFLECTION

1. Reflect on your own experience: How have you felt when others have encouraged you to take action when you doubted your strength, or ability in a specific area? Oh, it was so empowering! I know that when I doubt myself - whether it’s being great in a show (or living up to my own expectations of myself!) or getting a job that I wanted - and someone I trust and respect says “You can do this”, it’s like a fire is lit inside of me. It makes me want to go out there and at least try. Not only try, but try my best. It especially resonates when I know I’m good at something, or know that my cheerleader has known me to be good in that particular role before. For example, my singing teacher saying “You can sing the crap out of that part” will be more enthusing to me than someone who’s never seen me perform saying ‘You’ll be great!”

2. What are your top 10 strengths? Wow, this one is tough. 10 strengths! 10! That seems like a lot for some reason. Let’s see:
* Humorous
* Optimistic
* Enthusiastic
* Passionate
* Great listener
* Caring / empathetic
* Supportive
* Down-to-earth
* Driven
* Fun
How do these support you in your development of your coaching practice? As a driven and passionate person, I tend to do whatever the heck I set my mind to, which makes me think I can really, truly create a thriving business from something I love to do. As someone humorous, fun, optimistic and enthusiastic, I’m someone that people like to be around and talk to. Being supportive, caring/empathetic, down-to-earth, and a great listener makes me a friend that people seek out and hold on to. When I lay it out like that, it seems to be a great formula for a life coach!

3. Think of one goal that you will have for the next month. This may be a self-contained goal, or it could be part of something much bigger – like setting up your business! My goal this month is to stick to the action plan I set in place of exercising 2-3 mornings a week, as well as completing 1 module of homework/week.

What structures do you need to put in place to enable you to achieve your goal? I need to actually pay attention to my To Do List / Palm Pilot! I need to also pay attention and find out if this system is working for me and, if not, what will? I also need to assert myself and announce that I’m doing this so I can be held accountable for it.

4. Make a list of five people that you most admire and describe why you like them. What are the attributes that you want to make your own?
Wow again - great question.
* My pre-husband has a quiet calmness to him. He’s able to take what comes, analyze it a bit, and make the most of it. He doesn’t ever play the victim and is able to take things day by day. He’s also a perfectionist that doesn’t need to be perfect all the time. He wants to be able to be proud of whatever he puts his name to, and he cares a great deal about his work (professional and personal projects), but he’s able to put it aside and relax too, doing what makes him happy. It’s tough for me to do that.
* My Mom is so utterly devoted to her family. She has so many pieces to her life but yet family always comes first. I tend to view it as a bit overbearing at times, but deep down I love, appreciate, and cherish it. I can see now how very lucky I am to consider my Mom one of my best friends.
* My boss is someone who always makes herself available, always listens, and always sees two sides to a story. It’s really eye opening to see how she views a situation because, instead of most people who will “side” with the person that came to them to console them, she shows you how and possibly why the other person reacted the way that they did. I would love to remember that day to day.
* My best friend basically cares for her baby herself, works a full time job, and still manages to be a totally selfless person. I wish I had her stamina, her self-control, and the handle she has on her priorities and responsibilities.
* My stepfather is someone who holds his family so, so close. He’s happiest when his entire family is around, and if anyone crosses them they better watch out! He always sees the good in people, too, and isn’t too manly to show his pride or offer love, support, and encouragement.

5. Who is on your support team? Is it big enough? Are there others you need to engage with more to support you in achieving your goals? My support team is huge! My parents and grandparents always told me I could do anything I want to, and supported me when I did (pursuing an acting career, anyone?)! I’ve also had a great circle of friends, but now that I’m a “grown-up” I have really dear, true, loving friends that hold me up no matter what. My pre-husband is the most wonderful, allowing me to cry as well as laugh and always telling me how I amaze him with my drive, determination, and cheery optimism. I feel enthused just thinking about it!

The business building classes don’t have modules like the other ones, so I can’t organize them all nice and neat. Instead, even though business building has reading like all of the other classes, it only exists to answer questions. It’ll be interesting to see if this ends up more on the positive or negative side, since it can go either way right now. I’m hoping that every class isn’t about the same generic questions (web site, identifying your niche, what to put on your business card - yeah, really. who doesn’t know what to put on a business card?) and, over the course of the 12 classes that I’m required to take, a whole gamet of subjects get brought up. While I was breezing through the reading (I know! I haven’t read it yet! I’m so fired!), I caught myself wishing that Business Building would be in module form, since the subjects that were written about were interesting and varied. I think I’ll take some notes while I do the reading, and then I can come to class with some specifics. “Great idea, Michelle!” “Well thank you, Michelle. I wholeheartedly agree with you.”

What’s nice about this class is that Jim takes an inventory at the beginning of the class, and asks each student what they want to discuss. Then he’ll see what the most requested topic is and starts there. This led us to speaking about attracting clients, which resulted in talking about identifying your niche, pricing, web sites and business cards. Jim threw out some questions you should ask about yourself about your target audience, so you can best identify your niche and attract those clients. I actually never thought about focusing on the publications that your target audience reads and pitching an article, or giving a presentation to a networking group, so I found this helpful. While I know my target audience and I have a good idea of what my niche(s) will be, I’ll definitely do a bit of brainstorming on my own to find out how to find those clients.

I also liked Jim’s suggestions on pricing, and keeping a list of how much materials or tools cost you, and how much you want to mark it up. I’m also going to have to figure out how much my time costs me, and the mark up on that as well. While I did have a pricing sheet for the services I want to offer, it was literally me picking out prices out of thin air and figuring they were “reasonable”. But, with a real price list (my cost / client cost) I’ll be able to know how and why I give discounts as well as being able to account for any cost increases I make throughout my career.

All in all, it’s good to be back! I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday season and a great New Year.

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Today I’m grateful for learning about taking things a little at a time. I got a lot done over my break by working on my Welcome Packet for 30 minutes at a time, a few times a week. While I’m not quite finished, I have a solid rough draft and am on my way to reaching out for a Peer Client!

Why bother to discern UAC’s? Underlying Automatic Commitments are what continually hold you back from making a positive change in your life. UACs stop you from getting a new job, or creating financial security, or finding someone to share your life with. Without discerning the UAC that is preventing you from accomplishing what you set out to achieve, you will repeatedly make the same mistakes that stop you from reaching your objective.

What are some unwanted behaviors you currently have in your life? Using this process, can you now see what might be behind these outcomes?
* Putting too much pressure on myself to….well….be perfect and do everything! I know that I’ve always been “the good girl”, the one who held my family up through a divorce and put the needs of my friends, family and boyfriends before my own needs. While my relationships are still an enormous priority in my life, I know that the only way to be happy, healthy, and unstressed is to say “no” when I don’t want to do something. It seems easy, but it’s a really tough challenge for me!
* I’ve been having difficulty sticking to a budget, even though I’ve been very anal about putting one together every month, recording my purchases, and putting money towards my debt. When I reflected as to why I fall short every month, I realized that my social life will always come before my savings, so I spend more money than I allot to meals with friends, drinks with friends….anything with friends! I’m now able to recognize that I don’t want my social life to suffer because I don’t want to spend the money, so I’m (a) turning down social invitations that I’m not thrilled to go to and (b) trying to cut corners in other areas of my life, like eating out for lunch.

With this new insight, what would be an empowering action to take? I can’t wait to say no! I’ve worked on a good excuse-without-being-an-excuse with my coach and I’m just waiting for the opportunity to try it! I also recently made the decision to take all of my non-salary income (from acting work and freelancing with an event planning company) and put it towards my debt, so I’ll be able to be at parties guilt-free.

Why is it important not to view UAC’s as bad or wrong? Once you find your UAC, you can recognize what’s “wrong” and start to make it “right.” Without realizing that I’m not willing to sacrifice my social life for my credit card debt, I would have just kept digging myself into the same hole I’ve been digging myself into all these months. When I did recognize my UAC, I started thinking of other ways to accomplish my goal of paying off my debt.

Why is knowledge of an UAC helpful in making constructive choices? Because you’re aware of how you usually act - and how your usual actions don’t lead to successful decisions. Once you know your UAC, you’re able to figure out whether you want to change your perspective, or “embrace it” and figure out how to succeed around it.

REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
1. Pretend you’re the first coach on the planet. This way, you don’t have a Perspective of trying to get it right! You’re simply looking for what works best. Write down one to four objectives for your trial session. What do you want to achieve by the end of the session? What is an outcome you want? What is an outcome your prospective client might want?.
* I want to explain what coaching is and answer any questions about it.
* I want to explain how a coaching session works and answer any questions about it.
* I want to explain what the prospective client can expect from me, and what I expect from my clients.
* If I feel that I’d be the best coach for them, I’d like to ask for the privilege to be their coach.
* I want to coach them with a small obstacle that they’re looking to overcome.

What do you want to achieve by the end of the session? I want them to see the value in coaching, be enthused that it’s what will work for them, and feel that I’m the best coach for their needs.

What is an outcome that you want?  I want them to be excited about working with me, get our sessions on the books, and come to an agreement about payment.

What is an outcome that your prospective client might want? I think that a prospective client is going to want all of their questions answered, see coaching in action, feel enthused about moving ahead, and be sure that I’m the right coach for them. Is that 4 outcomes?

2. Now quickly check for Alignment. Could you comfortably share these objectives with your prospective client? If not, revise them. Yes. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing.

REFLECTION AND APPLICATION
1. Write ten probing questions you could use when searching for the goal, or dream, that excites and inspires the client. ( “What is one thing you would love to change in your life?”) Select your top three questions to practice regularly.
Top Three:
* If money was not an option, what would you do with your life?
* What do you want to accomplish in five years? One Year? Three months?
* Are you willing to accept not achieving these goals?

Remaining Seven:
* What works for you?
* What would you like to leave with after your coaching sessions are complete?
* What are your top three priorities?
* What’s missing in your life?
* What is one thing that causes you stress and anxiety?
* What do you always look forward to doing?
* What is your top priority now?

2. List five major concerns or objections you expect people may have about setting up ongoing coaching. Create a honest response which will Enthuse your prospective client.
* Client: “I’m not able to afford this right now.” Coach: “If you’re excited about the opportunity to be coached, and you feel that I’m the best coach for you, I would be happy to work something out so that the opportunity to achieve your goals would not be out of your reach.”

* Client: “I’m not able to commit to this much time.” Coach: “If you don’t think you can devote an uninterrupted hour each week for a phone call, along with the action items that you commit to achieve week-to-week, then you’re right - this might not be the right time to start coaching. However, you’d be surprised at how well coaching works via phone, email, or face-to-face. That way, we can work around your time constraints. One of the things that I specialize in is work/life balance and time management, so I might be able to help you out so that you don’t feel so overwhelmed with your commitments.”

* Client: “I don’t think that I can change.” Coach: “I know that this can seem quite overwhelming and out of reach, and the thought of seeing things from a different perspective and changing how you approach situations can be very scary. But that’s why I’m here! I’ve been trained to question you so you can see the best way to do things for yourself, as well as brainstorm with you, empower you, and be your cheerleader. You’re not in this alone!”

* Client:”I have a great support system already. I don’t think that I need a coach for help.” Coach: “That’s great that you have friends and family that you can turn to when you need help and support. But there must be a reason that you’re looking for a coach. Does your support system always have time to speak to you about your goals and challenges? Do they try to help you figure out what’s right for you, withhold judgment and not put their own opinions onto you? If they do, then you’re right - you might not need a coach! But if you want someone who will offer new perspectives, ask you questions and brainstorm with you until you figure out the path that is right for you, as well as someone who helps you plan your future, encourages you, and holds you accountable - then you might want to reconsider finding a coach.”

* “I have so much to work on, it’s just too stressful to think about starting.” Coach: “Often people will start coaching with me because they have many goals that they want to achieve, and I know that it can be very overwhelming! But I’ve been trained to help you figure out what your top priority is right now, and what the best way for you to get there. I can also help you map out how your other goals rate on the priority scale, and show you how to focus on reaching each and every one on your own time. You are obviously seeking out a coach for a reason, and one of those reasons might be to finally start achieving one of these goals! I’ll make sure that we go at your pace and achieve as much or as little as you’d like from week to week.”