Category Archive

Reflection
What are three things in your life that you have committed to and achieved? In no particular order: (1) Getting my Equity card (2) Finding a sweet, amazing man to have a loving, committed relationship with (3) Getting into NYU for musical theater

What are three things you have been trying to achieve for a long time but haven’t yet? (1) Being on Broadway (2) Getting an agent (3) Working for myself

Why have you been able to achieve the things answered in question one and not in question two? That’s a tough one. I want to say that #1 are more attainable goals and #2 are harder, but I know that some people would think otherwise! I feel like I put as much effort into trying to get an agent as I have into getting into NYU, but I’m starting to think that it’s a question of timing. Not to sound all hippy-dippy, but I’m really convinced that things happen at a certain time for a reason. There was a reason that I met my pre-husband when I did. There was a reason I got my Equity card when I did. Maybe it’s just not my time to be a Broadway star. Or maybe I’m just not marketable enough yet for an agent to get behind me. Or maybe I need to pay off my debt and build my retirement fund before I start working for myself.

What structures do you have in place to support you in your commitments? My To Do list and the activities I put in my Palm Pilot all keep me on the path to my goal. The friends and family that I surround myself with are all very encouraging and supportive, and follow through when I ask them to inquire about my goals - it’s a great push to reassess where I am and keep going.

Can you think of any UAC’s you might have which empower you and make your life better? I’m a planner, some might say to a fault, but I try to map everything out and schedule all of my To Dos, which allow me to see my goal. I also get very enthusiastic about a new project that I take on, so that carries me through. Because of my perfectionist streak, I tend to make sure that everything I put my name to is….well…perfect, but I can argue that putting myself behind high-quality work is empowering.

Usually I hate taking Part 2 without taking Part 1, but I was a rebel today and did it anyway! Oh, I’m so bad.

Turns out that Linda had a sub today, so Joanne led the class and was awesome. When she said that she had a 2 page book excerpt to read I was like “Groan!” (I didn’t say that out loud, BTW - it was in my head. Can you imagine? “I’d like to read this excerpt-” “GROAN!” That would have been weird. And rude. Sorry, I’m tired.). But she read what I imagine was the beginning of “Lies at the Altar: Truths to a Great Marriage” by Dr. Robin Smith, who I guess is on Oprah a lot and stuff. The gist of it was that she was seriously involved with an addict, and not only did he lie to her and others, but he turned her into a big fat liar too. She wrote something like “I would lay out his disguises on the bed in the morning”, and would help him concoct his fake truths, and repeated these lies to those he loved and anyone who asked.

What struck me was how she didn’t play the victim. This was not “Look what this addict did to me. I trusted him and he made me into this monster.” It was “Look what I became. It was because of this man, but I had a hand in it.” She took responsibility for these actions, and I feel that once that happens you can turn your life around. Her perspective was one that allowed her to move forward - and be an author that has her own Oprah segments.

One of the students went on Dr.Smith’s website and said she writes “Some people believe that they don’t need what they do need.” I came across this personally today. I’ve been hurt by a friend’s actions but kept saying that I didn’t care, it didn’t matter, whatever. But when I had the chance to tell her, I did. I did because I DID care and it DID hurt my feelings. I didn’t think I needed her to apologize or to tell me she didn’t mean what she did, but I did. I was lying to myself in saying that I didn’t care and I was lying to her when I’d turn down social outings without telling her the real reason why.

So, what’s your truth? And what’s stopping you from reaching it?

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Today I’m grateful for Hawaii, and that I get to go there on my honeymoon!

Jim is back! He subbed for Linda today and led a great class. I just spent the last 15 minutes sharing what I committed myself to with Luke, as well as explaining UACs, why they’re important and how to find them. And because it’s very close to my bedtime, I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version.

Since last week’s class, I’ve noticed the difference in semantics between saying that you have a “commitment” or you’re “vs saying that you’re “trying”. When I say “I’m committed to waking up at 6:20a next Mon, Wed, and Fri to work out downstairs”, it leaves me feels empowered, and confident, and excited! Conversely, when I say “I’m trying to wake up early to work out next week” I can feel my hand on the snooze button at 6:20a. And 6:27a. And 6:34a. And 6:41a. You get my drift.

I’m also being careful to only use the word “committed” when I really mean it. Subconsiously, I tried for a long time NOT to use it when I wanted to get more work out time, because I knew that if I did I’d have to pony up! When I  realized why I wasn’t committed to working out right now, and I questioned my motives, I discovered that it’s because I haven’t been gaining weight recently. When I start seeing a pooch develop, I make the time to go to the gym! If I don’t, it falls by the wayside.

So I took that UAC (no weight gain, no desire to go to the gym) and spun it on it’s head. I want to stay healthy and strong. I love the stress I let out in boxing class, or the way my body feels long and lean after yoga, or the time I have to actually read a book on the bicycle. Thus, I’ve committed myself to just working out before work for 30 min on Mon/Wed/Fri next week, so I can start incorporating exercise into the healthy lifestyle that I want to lead. And I love the short term commitment of it all, because by not signing myself up to working out 3 mornings a week for the rest of my life I actually feel more motivated to do it.

Was that the Cliff Notes version? My word count is at 388. I think not.

I want to leave you anyway with two great quotes. One was from a student today who credits a friend: “There are only two things you can do - make excuses or make time.” The other is by everyone’s good friend Yoda: “Do or do not. There is no try.” There is no try! Let that sink in for a moment. There is no try.

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I’m grateful for starting to be more in the present. Instead of complaining about my nearby (sucky) grocery store being out of an item I needed for dinner, I enjoyed the walk and the crisp, not-too-cold air to a further grocery store to get what I wanted. Instead of being focused on getting home, or being stressed about all there was to do there, I took off my iPod and enjoyed New York City on a slightly warm winter’s night. And it was beautiful.

This was my first class at 10p EST, and it definitely wasn’t easy. Now that I’m old, I definitely started to feel it at 10:30p or so. And blogging at 11p is not fun! But I know that this is what I’ll do for the next few weeks, since a wise coach (aka Joanne) once told me that the Power Tools modules were the most helpful for her. She recommend that I take them now that I’m done with my Foundations classes, and that’s what I’m gonna do!

This was a bit tough in terms of getting the bridge line in clearly. I’m unsure if it’s because most of the students were in Asia and I never tend to hear them clearly, or what. Come to think of it, Linda (the teacher) was a bit fuzzy too. Kinda frustrating, especially when I’m in Brain-Is-About-To-Shut-Off Mode.

This class was, duh, the difference between commitment vs. trying. What struck me the most was that trying is basically committing with an out clause! For example, I’ve committed myself to taking 2 ICA classes a week but I’m trying to get a peer client by Jan 1st. If I was committed to getting a Peer Client by Jan 1st, then I would have one! But I find easy excuses (my show just ended, I’m going to celebrate my birthday, I have wedding stuff to do) to keep pushing the date back. Why? What’s stopping me? Now I think of it, I still think that it’s fear. I’m scared of having a Peer Client now. I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t think that I’ll have enough time. Which is why I’ve committed myself to trying to get a Peer Client!

Wow. That was a big relevation.

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Today I’m grateful for coming up with a positive action plan to help me not kill my mother, and I totally credit coaching with it. Instead of complaining about the situation, or throwing my hands up and surrendering to a strained relationship, I figured out how to approach her in order to keep everything in tact and (hopefully) not hurt her feelings. I’m really proud of myself for that.