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That’s right – I took Part 3 before Part 1 or 2 (or 4). But this module is offered so infrequently in the evenings I had to take them out of order if I wanted to finish them before January.
Coaching process is such a difficult topic, because, as Angela explained, it’s literally you. Your style, your personality, your strengths, your weakness. It seems interchangeable to your model, but it was then described that if your model is a bike then the coaching process is how the bike is ridden. If that makes sense. It did when she explained it.
The biggest take-away I had here, though, was to learn that I must enjoy the silence. I’ve heard this before, and it’s always been a big goal with me & my big mouth, but I’m going to keep it at the front of my mind with my new Peer Client I start with tomorrow. I’ll report back!
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been updating this blog a lot less. Some of it is due from forgetfulness, or tiredness when a class ends late, or just a general feeling like I don’t have anything of worth to say. But in putting that on paper I realize it’s total BS. So I’ll be updating after every client/class from now on.
Today I took THREE classes & had one coaching session with my Peer Client, so I’ll start with the one that remains freshest: Powerful Requests.
This class was interesting because Powerful Requests were something that I always took for granted. At the end of every session, I make sure that my client has a Bold Challenge for next week – something tangible to work on. Sometimes I assign it from something that was discussed, & my client tweeks as necessary. Sometimes I ask the client, “What would you like to be your Bold Challenge this week?” Either way, they have homework for the week.
I just thought that a Powerful Request & a Bold Challenge were interchangable, until right now. A powerful request gets it’s power from the coach saying, “Can I request something from you?” We only ask this when we feel that we can shift the client’s momentum to take action when usually that wouldn’t be their MO. This seems like the one time where the coach can impart their guidance as their own, and not allow the client to find it for themselves. It’s an important distinction & one that needs to be used with a certain tone and articulation.
This is something I’ll definitely let stew for a while.
I have to say, I went into this class going “Why are there 4 sections of this class?” And now that I’ve done 2 of the 4 parts, I’m thinking “Why are there 4 sections of this class?”
I didn’t not enjoy this class, but as someone who has had 2 Peer Coaches and is on her 4th & 5th client, I just don’t get as much value as someone who just started the class. I did enjoy responding to the question, “What two words come to mind when you think of coaching?” For me it was “discovery” and “support”. I think that’s the backbone of my model in a stripped down form.
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Today I’m grateful for the Marriage Bureau not losing my license as originally thought! We’re really married!
I am SO tired, so this will be a quick one. This is the first time that I’ve taken class with Isabelle, and she’s a great teacher. She asks a lot of questions to the class so that everyone can contribute and you can learn by the examples of others. I basically walked away from this class with a dozen points to the question:
What motivates someone to tell the truth?
I think, when putting this in a client/coach context, that it boils down to creating a safe, non-judgmental environment. It’s still helpful, though, to get tips on not only creating that but how to handle your client when you sense they’re not telling the truth – or they haven’t discovered their truth yet. From being silent and letting them speak; to telling them you observe that something is being held back and asking what it might be; to asking them permission before you give them a reflection on what you’ve heard they are all valid and helpful points.
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Today I’m grateful for getting my first paying client!!!!!!!!! I’m sure I’ll post on that later. I’ve been up an extra hour (to coach!) and am hurting quite a bit.
What a great class! Michael, the teacher, is so enthusiastic and energetic that it makes the classes very fun and engaging. I have a feeling we have a similar style (lots of encouragement, enthusiasm and celebrating) that I’m automatically very drawn into his classes.
I want goal setting to be a big part of my sessions – and my life! – so I was excited to learn more about this topic. The reading was great in so far that it brought up (a) having each goal be a S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time bound) goal (b) tying your goals into your values and (c) creating a step-by-step process of documenting goals. I’m really going to be make sure I use all of these techniques with my clients, as it will greatly help them not only figure out which race to run, but how to cross the finish line!
What I really took away from this class were all the things that should have been put into practice when you failed on a goal you set-up for yourself. What you have still failed if you:
* were accountable?
* had supportive people around you (aka kick-the-naysayers-to-the-curb)?
* had been realistic in your goals?
* were in line with your values and not the values or ideas of others?
* had prioritized your goal with the other goals/commitments in your life?
* had replaced the word “could” with the word “will”?
* had set-up reminders for yourself about your goal?
* had created a vision board?
* didn’t cloud your focus with outside commitments?
* taken it one goal at a time?
* had celebrated the milestones?
* considered the obstacles?
I know it’s a lot to digest, but look at everything that can stand in your way! It makes me look back and realize that a goal is something that needs to be considered, and commited to, and cultivated. It’s a lot of freaking work! The next time I start to get a hankering for a goal, or am helping a client nail one down, I’ll keep this post handy and make sure that nothing is falling through the cracks.
This class was helpful because I got to receive feedback on my coaching model. I think I figured out (finally) how to attach something, so here it is:
OK I’m not too sure that worked. Why is WordPress so finicky?
Anyway, it was great to hear a fellow student say that my model was one of the few she saw before she worked on hers, and she loved the energy & the colors that were used. The class thought that the model was very representative of my style, and I also got compliments on my business name!
The main point I’ll take away from this class, though, was that it’s not just for the coach to use themselves or to inform the client how the sessions will look. It could also be used for the client to hold the coach accountable! I never saw it that way, and it’s a great perspective.
Michael is one of my new favorite teachers! He has a unique style all his own that was engaging and dealt specifically with serving your clients (sometimes these classes could be vague with how to apply these models in a session, but we spoke about that at length). Or maybe I just relate to him because I love gay men and have been around them my whole life? Either way, great class!
Powerful Requests is fairly self-explanatory, but we spoke about what made a request powerful vs what Michael called “field work”, which is something not as challenging that the client might have already stated that they were going to do. I really feel like I want to be the type of coach to give my clients a powerful request every week! Since I already give them “homework”, I should step it up a notch and see how they react. Is there a limit to how many “scary” challenges to give someone?
I also offered up a powerful request for myself: to take 1 hour this week just for me. Whether it’s reading a magazine on my roofdeck or taking a bath with a glass of wine, I NEED to calm my brain and recharge. This wedding is only getting closer!
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Today I’m grateful for new pajamas.
I feel like I’m ahead of the curve on this one, as it seems like this class is meant to be taken before you start peer coaching. Well, if that’s the case, they should offer it more often! I’m unable to take the rest of these parts until the end of the year anyway, as they don’t offer them at night before November.
This was still a helpful class, though, since Paul went over different tools we could use and some basics of coaching. I liked how he says to his clients, at the beginning of every session, that they should stop him if the session starts going someplace they don’t want it to go. We as coaches have to remember that the client sets the agenda and negotiates how the session will go – we are just the guides.
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Today I’m grateful for a day off, & a beautiful one at that. Yee ha!
Homework for AC101: Acknowledgment
1. What difference would it make in your life, over the next five years, if you received 50 percent more acknowledgment than you do today? I’m someone that thrives on praise, so being acknowledged is huge for me. It’s a big motivator as well as being a great justifier – it keeps me going.
2. Think of a time in your life when you have been acknowledged? How did it make you feel? When a huge trade paper gave me a great review in a show I was doing, I wanted to yell it from the rooftops! It made me feel like I was on the right path and I was getting somewhere.
3. Describe what feels like when we make efforts without acknowledgment? It’s like you’re spinning your wheels, always wondering “Am I doing this right? Is this going to pay off? Do I know what I’m doing?” It could be a vicious cycle.
4. What do you think are the benefits in acknowledging clients as part of the coaching relationships? It keeps them going, I hope! There are also times when my coach acknowledged me and it wasn’t until she did that I even saw what I did that could be acknowledged (does that make sense)? So it’s awareness in addition to a pat on the back.
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