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I ponied up and coached today. Here I am, coaching more clients at one time than I have before, & I’m still greedy with class time. I think it’s because I’ve been feeling a bit stuck in my sessions – like there’s more I could be doing that I’m not. Like I hit my wall. So I was interested in seeing what I can do in class, & to receive feedback.
I loved how Isabelle, the teacher, noted that it was when I let go of my preconcieved notions as to where I wanted her to go & just became present that the session soared. I felt like she was one of the only ones that noticed I did that – I got other feedback referring to acknowledgement, clarifying, listening (someone even said that there wasn’t an ICF core competency that I missed!), and confidence – and it immediately clicked. It was ironic that I was coaching my client on how to conduct her first session and what she should do if she doesn’t know where to go! But I didn’t fall into the trap of telling her what to do. I admitted that I was stuck, blabbed on a bit, and put it back on my client with the particulars: “What can you do in the next week, before the first session, so that you will feel confident and prepared?” She came up with what would work for her. And she had a take-away from the session.
I’m growing. And I still love, love coaching. And I want to get nothing but better and better at it. I’ll keep you posted.
New client alert! And last pro-bono client alert. Yup – 11 weeks from now I’ll be done with my coaching requirement for Peer/External Clients for ICA. It’s exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!
And it’s exciting to work with “H”. As a former classmate of mine who is unhappy with his “regular person” career and lack of creativity in his life, I forced him to let me coach him. I put a gun to his head and said “You are EXACTLY who I want to coach! Let me help you PUH-LEEZE!” OK, there was no gun & he couldn’t see my begging on my knees through the computer, but he said yes anyway & I was thrilled.
Our first session – which always scares me (What does he expect? What will we talk about? Does he know what he’s getting into?) – went really well. I feel like I SEE the heart of his challenge but I don’t know yet how to have him see it for himself. And that’s not to say that I know what his decisions should be or I know what path he should choose, but I feel like I know what’s been holding him back. I’m going to tear through my class material and some exercises before next week & see if there’s anything I can grab onto that would help me guide him into this clarification.
In the meanwhile, I’m getting great insight as to the general challenges and questions that an ideal client of mine would have, and the wheels are spinning as to what to blog about, and the tools that I could create, and what packages I can offer. But everything is still fuzzy, so I’ll breathe through it & keep it in my back pocket until later.
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Today I’m grateful for freak-outs and tantrums. Sometimes they’re real eye-openers.
So I said I’d blog & here I am! I had my first “real” session with “S” (I know I’ve been saying Client A, Client B, but frankly I’ve lost count & I don’t know what letter I’m on) tonight and am so excited to work with her. She’s really the first client I’ve had who is like me in SO many ways, & it’ll be interesting to see how we’re able to play with/against each other.
And yes, I’m still focusing on “silence”, but it’s hard with “S” because she’s a chatty one (told you we had a lot in common!). I feel sometimes if I don’t jump in there she’s talk for the whole session. Although it would be interested to see one session if that’s the case!
What I’ll remember from this session are two cliches with oh so much truth in them:
“Feel the fear – and do it anyway.”
“It’s imperitive that you live your dream so others can live theirs.”
Amen!
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Today I’m grateful for an inexpensive dinner of turkey meatloaf & 2 sides in a gourmet supermarket. It’s the little things.
I LOVE Ronnie Noize. What a difference a teacher makes. Yes, I still have my beef that every class seems to be about g.d. websites, but she always has something new to add.
This week we got to speak a bit about PR opportunities, and what you should have prepared should one come your way. Time to work on a bio & an intro!
That’s right – I took Part 3 before Part 1 or 2 (or 4). But this module is offered so infrequently in the evenings I had to take them out of order if I wanted to finish them before January.
Coaching process is such a difficult topic, because, as Angela explained, it’s literally you. Your style, your personality, your strengths, your weakness. It seems interchangeable to your model, but it was then described that if your model is a bike then the coaching process is how the bike is ridden. If that makes sense. It did when she explained it.
The biggest take-away I had here, though, was to learn that I must enjoy the silence. I’ve heard this before, and it’s always been a big goal with me & my big mouth, but I’m going to keep it at the front of my mind with my new Peer Client I start with tomorrow. I’ll report back!
You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been updating this blog a lot less. Some of it is due from forgetfulness, or tiredness when a class ends late, or just a general feeling like I don’t have anything of worth to say. But in putting that on paper I realize it’s total BS. So I’ll be updating after every client/class from now on.
Today I took THREE classes & had one coaching session with my Peer Client, so I’ll start with the one that remains freshest: Powerful Requests.
This class was interesting because Powerful Requests were something that I always took for granted. At the end of every session, I make sure that my client has a Bold Challenge for next week – something tangible to work on. Sometimes I assign it from something that was discussed, & my client tweeks as necessary. Sometimes I ask the client, “What would you like to be your Bold Challenge this week?” Either way, they have homework for the week.
I just thought that a Powerful Request & a Bold Challenge were interchangable, until right now. A powerful request gets it’s power from the coach saying, “Can I request something from you?” We only ask this when we feel that we can shift the client’s momentum to take action when usually that wouldn’t be their MO. This seems like the one time where the coach can impart their guidance as their own, and not allow the client to find it for themselves. It’s an important distinction & one that needs to be used with a certain tone and articulation.
This is something I’ll definitely let stew for a while.
I have to say, I went into this class going “Why are there 4 sections of this class?” And now that I’ve done 2 of the 4 parts, I’m thinking “Why are there 4 sections of this class?”
I didn’t not enjoy this class, but as someone who has had 2 Peer Coaches and is on her 4th & 5th client, I just don’t get as much value as someone who just started the class. I did enjoy responding to the question, “What two words come to mind when you think of coaching?” For me it was “discovery” and “support”. I think that’s the backbone of my model in a stripped down form.
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Today I’m grateful for the Marriage Bureau not losing my license as originally thought! We’re really married!
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