AC100: Underlying Automatic Commitments (Homework)

Reflection
Why bother to discern UAC’s? The only way to break the patterns of your life is by seeing what your unconscious commitments are. You might set a goal for yourself that you find you can not achieve, like trying to eat healthier. Yet, you find yourself still snacking on chips. Why? The reason behind that behavior will bring to light what’s needed to overcome those obstacles. The UACs are those obstacles, and not only are they unconscious but they happen automatically – so they’re tough to prevent and tough to see.

What are some unwanted behaviors you currently have in your life? Putting too much pressure on myself is a huge one that I’ve recently opened my eyes to. Not being able to stop picking at my nails in another. Being stressed out by having to be productive at all times is also an unwanted behavior.

Using this process, can you now see what might be behind these outcomes? I’ve always put others before myself, and when I don’t I feel guilty. I’ve always been the one to hold up my family when things went badly. In order to be productive all the time, I have to be doing doing doing – which leads to picking at my nails (especially when I have nothing else to “do”).

With this new insight, what would be an empowering action to take? To carve out some “me” time that’s mine alone, no matter what else comes my way, and to delegate certain tasks that don’t need to be done by me. But the real challenge would be to trust myself, especially when I’ve done all that I can to ensure that things get done smoothly and correctly.

Why is it important not to view UAC’s as bad or wrong? UACs are the backbone of who you are, and that can’t be bad or wrong. I think the fact that they exist (and that you can find them!) should be celebrated!

Why is knowledge of an UAC helpful in making constructive choices? Because it gets to the core of any obstacle. Break through the UAC, break through the obstacle and reach your goal.

External Client 1: Session 9

This was an odd one. We started with not knowing where to go, and about 15 minutes before we ended there were tears (teachers have said that this happens pretty often, actually – clients having a big realization more than halfway through) and something major that popped up that needs attention. I had her say out loud everything that was clouding her head, and tried to show how it can be turned around, but I felt like nothing stuck. Nothing stuck because it didn’t come from her! I showed her (or should I say told her) instead of having her find it herself.

But this is the big question: HOW CAN IT COME FROM HER? And what should I say when I hear “I don’t know?” And why haven’t I learned to STOP TALKING yet? Maybe it’s because I don’t know what to say? Or how to say it, without making it a leading question? I found a list of questions like I wanted to last week, but they were overwhelming and I wasn’t sure where to start with them.

I keep wondering, “How did Joanne do it? How did she have ME come to the realization? How did she allow me to find the answers myself?” And I’ve just drawn a blank. Like it was magic. And I’m starting to think that my Gift of Gab wasn’t such a gift.

I think I’m going to go to the discussion board and put this post (these questions, actually) out to the ICA community. And please, if you’re reading this and have any thoughts/ideas/suggestions, post a comment. Or if you can have these answers fall from the sky and just knock me on my head, then that would work too.

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Today I’m grateful for my man. Insert bunch-of-sappy-things here.