This class was so interesting! It’s been a while since I’ve taken a “regular” class (at least it feels like it) and I loved how Angela described decision makers.
Esentially, there are 3 decision makers:
* Thinkers: these are the people that make a decision with their minds. They arm themselves with a lot of facts and then choose the smartest decision.
* Feelers: these are the people that use their hearts - or other parts of their bodies - to tell them what to do. Some even say they literally, physically feel something in their stomachs, shoulders, elbows, eyebrows, etc and they make the comforting decision.
* Knowers : these are the people that make a decision because…well…they just “know” it’s the right one. If you ask them how they know, they can’t answer you. They just know, jeez!
Now, everyone is a combination of these 3 decision makers, but one element is the main decision maker and another one is usually a back-up. Looking back on all of the vendors I’ve chosen thus far for my wedding, I know that I’m a feeler who then collects some facts to justify her decision. Or maybe I’m a thinker who arms herself with facts so that when something feels right she can jump at it? Hmmm…..
OK, let’s see how I chose my vendors:
* DJ: did a bunch of research, compiled a list of half a dozen people, told Luke about one of them. He loved her website and the song selections she listed, we met with her, and I told her we’d book her then and there. Feeler for sure.
* Venue: did a bunch of research online, compiled a list of places, called them to find out pricing, made an appointment with one of them to see it. Hated that one, went to the second one, walked in the door and said “This is it!” Feeler again.
* Rabbi: did some research, met with the rabbi, loved her, booked her the next day. Do we see a theme?
OK, so I’m a feeler who’s not really a thinker. Doing research to find vendors does not constitute a thinker.
“So, who cares?” you ask. “What does this have to do with coaching, or moving forward?”
“Good question,” I answer, with a glint in my eye. “Y’see, society has brainwashed the entire world that the only right answers are the smart ones - the ones with lots of facts, data, scientific crap and mumbo jumbo. But what if you made the radical decision to go with one - and only one - decision making tactic? What if you knew that you made decisions because you felt them, and you let the rest go. Wouldn’t that be freeing? Wouldn’t that be scary? Wouldn’t that lead to the best decision for you?”
I take a step back and think of all the wasted time and wasted opportunities, trying to find ways to justify my decisions - or even making decisions that might not have been the right ones for me, but that seemed like the smart decision. Like not taking my dream role because I was in a serious relationship. I’m in a serious relationship, so I should want to stay home with my boyfriend and not perform my dream role - right? Even though I know that role in a theater in a strip mall wouldn’t have have catapulted me to Broadway, but I regret not doing it.
It’s such a breakthrough. Maybe that’s where your regrets come from - going against the way you make decisions. If you make a choice to only choose based on your feelings (or thinking, or knowing), would you live a life of no regrets? I feel like it’s damn worth trying.
*
Today I’m grateful for the sun still being out when I get to my apartment at 7p. It keeps me upbeat and happy.
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March 23, 2008 at 2:43 am
fahree
Your classes of decision makers kind of match the MBTI, except that you put together a group of “knowers” for the concrete-bound people that you don’t understand. “thinkers” is NT. “feelers” is NF. Knowers is both SJ and SP. But SJ and SP are different. SJ knows from authority/society, SP knows from experience/nature.
NT knows because it’s logical (from what premises?). NF knows because it’s good (according to what morality?). SJ knows “it’s what say those who know” (how do THEY know?). SP does because “that’s how it worked best for me when I tried” (what have you tried or failed to try?).
I don’t think these sources are knowledge are mutually exclusive. Certainly, every one has a tendency to give more weight than others to some of these sources of knowledge, and it is good to know and accept your own tendencies as well as those of other people. But this knowing and accepting has 2 consequences: a- stop wasting energy trying to change what can’t be changed, but b- take into account your biases and correct within the limits of what you can change.
I’m near sighted. I don’t try to “train” my vision for improvements. I don’t compete in shooting ranges. But I wear glasses.