Monthly Archive

The teacher didn’t show! I rushed my butt to get here, dialed in right on time, and waited……for 20 minutes…..until a resourceful student decided to dial the moderator code and the students hijacked the class. I absolutely know that this was karma for not showing to be a Peer Client for Joanne this morning! When she emailed asking, “Where were you?” I think I yelled out “NO!”, which isn’t so good when you’re in an open office.  And the kicker is that I got out of a training session to be there, only to miss it when my Lotus Notes (the poor man’s version of Outlook) Alarm didn’t go off! Holy crapballs was I mad.

So, just desserts. No teacher tonight, which super stinks because Moving Forward (Part I) was an eye-opener for me and I was looking forward to the second piece. I also just realized there’s a Part 3, but I can’t do anything next Thursday night so I have to wait until freakin’ July and August to finish this module. Ugh!

Thanks for letting me get that out. In reality, it wasn’t terrible because I got to listen to a coaching session, done by a student who was taking her very last class (which meant that she was good). So, there ya go.

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Today I’m grateful for this week being over, as the weekend starts tomorrow for me!

Divine Intervention brought me to this class. Or was it The Secret? Or Moses? Either way, I decided to look at the calendar 15 minutes before my Business Building class started, and I saw another option: Communities of Practice (CoP): Life Coach. I knew that I printed the materials a while ago, but I don’t remember really reading it (skimming/glancing/perusing: yes, reading/absorbing: no). I decided to call in.

I announced my Win - my first client starting next week! Bill (the amazing teacher - he’s so energetic and enthusiastic, it’s easy to enjoy the class) asked about my niche and who I’m working with. I said “Um…artists and performers and stuff?” although much more articulately (I think). Another student piped up that she’d like to get my info, as she’s a painter and looking for a Peer Coach. Bill arranged for us to speak after class wrapped up.

However, it turns out that this class is exclusively coaching/being coached/listening.  Someone is the coach, someone is the coachee, and someone else provides feedback. That’s done twice and then the class is over. So, of course, the first coach is…….

…Me!

I can’t take credit because I was cowering in the corner, trying not to breathe or make a sound that can be picked up by my phone mic, when The Painter spoke up and asked if I could coach her for the class. I’m so grateful that she made me (that will be my grateful piece at the end of this post, so don’t be surprised)! I was so, so nervous and figured I’d make a big jerkface of myself in front of the class, and waste  everyone’s time. I think I’m still hung up on the fact that I’ve slacked off on my classes and homework lately. I’ve also stopped hearing Joanne’s voice in my head, and that helped me so much the last time that I did a mock coaching in class. I knew I was on my own.

And, on my own, I was pretty darn awesome if I can be egotistical and obnoxious about it. I really felt so, so good about this session that I’m not so scared to take on my new client next week. Most of my fear and anxiety slipped away. It was just me, and my client, and actively listening. I wasn’t worried about what to say next, or saying the right thing, or being “perfect”.  Don’t get me wrong - I still have so much to learn! But getting this high from coaching is making me feel very at ease that this is what I should be doing now, and my 5 year plan to get out of my job and support myself as a coach might actually, really, truly come to fruition. And that’s so exciting that I’m actually getting teary-eyed right now.

Just so I always remember, and I can come back to it when I’m back to thinking I’m a big stinky jerkface, I’m going to post the feedback that I received today:

* I heard what wasn’t being said very quickly

* I was both nurturing and supportive

* I was good at feeding back what I heard (OK, so maybe Joanne still is in my head!) and having The Painter clarify what was said

*I handled the fact that there were personal issues that I couldn’t get into, which must have been challenging

* I should discuss reframing with the client if there was more time

* I’m more than ready to start coaching 

(Big sigh). I know that ICA stays away from the criticism and focuses on the positive, but that felt really good today. I can’t wait to start with my client next week!

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I’m grateful for being pushed into a scary, wonderful experience. It’s kind of amazing what happens when you just open your mouth and talk about what you’re doing.

This class was so interesting! It’s been a while since I’ve taken a “regular” class (at least it feels like it) and I loved how Angela described decision makers.

Esentially, there are 3 decision makers:

* Thinkers: these are the people that make a decision with their minds. They arm themselves with a lot of facts and then choose the smartest decision.

* Feelers: these are the people that use their hearts - or other parts of their bodies - to tell them what to do. Some even say they literally, physically feel something in their stomachs, shoulders, elbows, eyebrows, etc and they make the comforting decision.

* Knowers : these are the people that make a decision because…well…they just “know” it’s the right one. If you ask them how they know, they can’t answer you. They just know, jeez!

Now, everyone is a combination of these 3 decision makers, but one element is the main decision maker and another one is usually a back-up. Looking back on all of the vendors I’ve chosen thus far for my wedding, I know that I’m a feeler who then collects some facts to justify her decision. Or maybe I’m a thinker who arms herself with facts so that when something feels right she can jump at it? Hmmm…..

OK, let’s see how I chose my vendors:

* DJ: did a bunch of research, compiled a list of half a dozen people, told Luke about one of them. He loved her website and the song selections she listed, we met with her, and I told her we’d book her then and there. Feeler for sure.

* Venue: did a bunch of research online, compiled a list of places, called them to find out pricing, made an appointment with one of them to see it. Hated that one, went to the second one, walked in the door and said “This is it!” Feeler again.

* Rabbi: did some research, met with the rabbi, loved her, booked her the next day. Do we see a theme?

OK, so I’m a feeler who’s not really a thinker. Doing research to find vendors does not constitute a thinker.

“So, who cares?” you ask. “What does this have to do with coaching, or moving forward?”

“Good question,” I answer, with a glint in my eye. “Y’see, society has brainwashed the entire world that the only right answers are the smart ones - the ones with lots of facts, data, scientific crap and mumbo jumbo. But what if you made the radical decision to go with one - and only one - decision making tactic? What if you knew that you made decisions because you felt them, and you let the rest go. Wouldn’t that be freeing? Wouldn’t that be scary? Wouldn’t that lead to the best decision for you?”

I  take a step back and think of all the wasted time and wasted opportunities, trying to find ways to justify my decisions - or even making decisions that might not have been the right ones for me, but that seemed like the smart decision. Like not taking my dream role because I was in a serious relationship. I’m in a serious relationship, so I should want to stay home with my boyfriend and not perform my dream role - right? Even though I know that role in a theater in a strip mall wouldn’t have have catapulted me to Broadway, but I regret not doing it.

It’s such a breakthrough. Maybe that’s where your regrets come from - going against the way you make decisions. If you make a choice to only choose based on your feelings (or thinking, or knowing), would you live a life of no regrets? I feel like it’s damn worth trying.

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Today I’m grateful for the sun still being out when I get to my apartment at 7p. It keeps me upbeat and happy.

Ugh, this class was not like the last Business Building class. We spoke a bit today about e-coaching, marketing, and workshops, but the bits & pieces, in my opinion, didn’t really stick.

might have said this before, but I really wish this class went back to the format the other classes are in. Looking at my class log, what they had in place would have been fab:

* Websites that work (part 1 & 2)

* Targeting marketing (part 1 & 2)

* Legal issues

* E-coaching

* Business plans (part 1, 2, & 3!)

* Streams of income

* Selling your coaching

I feel like these are the biggies, and it would be extremely useful to focus on one topic for 1, 2, or 3 classes. I definitely loved last week’s class because we spent the time really talking about websites, and I got a lot of great insight from that class. I don’t want to think it’s Jim because I usually really like him, but maybe I need to find another class?

OK, let’s change my perspective and think about what I DID get out of the class. OK, that would be good. I did get some info about search engines and where to find a free e-class to learn more about it. That will be really helpful when whenigrowupcoach.com is up and running. Jim also recommended two books that seem worthwhile, although one is a marketing program that’s $100. But it might be an investment in the long run!

Just to give a little update on my first client - because that’s my big freak-out right now (minus the wedding stuff) - I just sent her When I Grow Up: The Intake Form and I’m so proud of that! I even have When I Grow Up: The Policies and When I Grow Up: The Coaching Agreement waiting in the wings for when we firm up our dates/times! I’m seeing her tomorrow night in a big group, but I’m looking forward to speaking her and getting our first session on the books.

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Today I’m grateful for a fully stocked fridge in addition to a wine fridge. I feel fancy.

What a great class! It was an hour about websites, logos, and lots of reference material and referrals. We went through current websites of the students in the class (those that had sites up and running), critiqued them, and picked the brains of the people who built them. Mine isn’t up yet, BUT I got a laugh when I gave my url as whenigrowupcoach.com.  And you know what a laugh whore I am! I love that my company name immediately gets a reaction, and I’m not concerned that it’s not the “right” reaction. Those that react favorably will be those that I’ll enjoy working with, who will enjoy working with me, and who will get the most from my coaching. I’m really glad that I learned that lesson from my acting career.

While I was pounding the pavement, I spent many, many years blending in with everyone else. Finally, the last 2 or 3 years I was focusing on my acting career, the lightbulb went off. I get cast because I’m quirky! And funny! And cute! I shouldn’t try to dress like one of those”pretty girls in her 20s” (there were 300 of them waiting to audition). I should stand out, and ensure that those I was auditioning for knew who I was from the time I submitted my headshot, from the time I walked into the room. I didn’t have to open my mouth and deliver a comedic monologue to show I was funny. I didn’t have to open my mouth and belt “Adelaide’s Lament” to show that I had an Ethel Merman-like voice. I looked funny.

That doesn’t sound right. But you know what I mean.

I’m going to be able to grab my potential clients with that name, and then my logo and my website. I really feel very strongly about that, and will commit myself to putting my time and energy behind it. I’ll make a great first impression as well as a great me impression.

Is me impression a term? Eh, you know what I mean.

This class was really inspiring, and I felt all the students become energized by the potential they have with a blank site. I’m now debating if I want to rely on Luke to build my site (he’s not a professional but he’s great with it), or if I want to do it myself. It might not be as good, but I might be able to work on it more on my own terms. I’ll know how it works and what I want it to do and how to update it. But I don’t want it to look amateurish, like I did it myself. Catch 22! I’ll see if there’s a middle ground, where he can design it but I can control the content.

I’m really glad that I’m taking these Business Building classes now, as I think they’ll give me the push I need to get When I Grow Up up & running!

Celebration Alert! I’m about to sign my first client. She’s not paying, and she’s not a peer client, but she knows what she’s getting into and she’s excited anyway. It’s amazing what happens when you simply say, “I’m training to be a life coach”! I’m starting with her next month for 3 months, so wish me luck / send any advice my way - I need it!

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Tonight I’m grateful that Clinton is in it to win it! It’s a really exciting race, and although I feel that Obama and Clinton are essentially the same person I can’t help rooting for Hillary.