Monthly Archive

I have to admit, in all honesty, I tuned out for a lot of this class. I didn’t mean to, though! Jim had us close our eyes and breathe at the beginning of the class - which is the only hippy dippy thing I like doing - and I’ve been feeling groggy and unfocused ever since. Granted, I haven’t been feeling great today at all, what with the weather being 70 degrees last week and in the teens this week, and sitting in freezing water in a hail storm for 2 hours last night (I was in a “heated” tent, but it barely helped).

I’m also feeling a bit more overwhelmed with the wedding stuff, although I’m having fun with it too. I’ve been making a lot of appointments with DJs, dress stores, photographers….Luke has been helping but I’m doing the grunt work and then he is “yay”ing or “nay”ing. I’m not doing more than I want to be doing - because all of this is exciting - but I definitely feel like I’m slipping on some other priorities right now (friendships, coaching, budgeting, theater). I think that might be part of the reason why I was drifted on the call, so much so that I didn’t walk away with anything!

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I’m grateful for the new sheets on the bed. The old sheets were getting grody.

Jim is back! He subbed for Linda today and led a great class. I just spent the last 15 minutes sharing what I committed myself to with Luke, as well as explaining UACs, why they’re important and how to find them. And because it’s very close to my bedtime, I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version.

Since last week’s class, I’ve noticed the difference in semantics between saying that you have a “commitment” or you’re “vs saying that you’re “trying”. When I say “I’m committed to waking up at 6:20a next Mon, Wed, and Fri to work out downstairs”, it leaves me feels empowered, and confident, and excited! Conversely, when I say “I’m trying to wake up early to work out next week” I can feel my hand on the snooze button at 6:20a. And 6:27a. And 6:34a. And 6:41a. You get my drift.

I’m also being careful to only use the word “committed” when I really mean it. Subconsiously, I tried for a long time NOT to use it when I wanted to get more work out time, because I knew that if I did I’d have to pony up! When I  realized why I wasn’t committed to working out right now, and I questioned my motives, I discovered that it’s because I haven’t been gaining weight recently. When I start seeing a pooch develop, I make the time to go to the gym! If I don’t, it falls by the wayside.

So I took that UAC (no weight gain, no desire to go to the gym) and spun it on it’s head. I want to stay healthy and strong. I love the stress I let out in boxing class, or the way my body feels long and lean after yoga, or the time I have to actually read a book on the bicycle. Thus, I’ve committed myself to just working out before work for 30 min on Mon/Wed/Fri next week, so I can start incorporating exercise into the healthy lifestyle that I want to lead. And I love the short term commitment of it all, because by not signing myself up to working out 3 mornings a week for the rest of my life I actually feel more motivated to do it.

Was that the Cliff Notes version? My word count is at 388. I think not.

I want to leave you anyway with two great quotes. One was from a student today who credits a friend: “There are only two things you can do - make excuses or make time.” The other is by everyone’s good friend Yoda: “Do or do not. There is no try.” There is no try! Let that sink in for a moment. There is no try.

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I’m grateful for starting to be more in the present. Instead of complaining about my nearby (sucky) grocery store being out of an item I needed for dinner, I enjoyed the walk and the crisp, not-too-cold air to a further grocery store to get what I wanted. Instead of being focused on getting home, or being stressed about all there was to do there, I took off my iPod and enjoyed New York City on a slightly warm winter’s night. And it was beautiful.

I have to admit, this was a frustrating class because we spent less than half of it on topic. Jim is an excellent teacher and I was excited to hear him on the other end of the line when I called in, but he let the “who has a question/celebration that they want to ask/share” portion of the class go for too long. We spent a large chunk of the first half hour taking about Executive Coaching. Some of it was useful, but a lot of it didn’t apply to those that aren’t interested in Executive Coaching. And since there is an Executive Coaching module to take in ICA, I didn’t feel like this was the forum for it. Jim did mention that he was coming out of a disco nap (or, as he called it, self-hypnosis) and was talking way too much, but I wish he kept an eye on the clock and nipped some of the unrelevant discussions in that bud.

That being said, I did come out of the class with a good nougat, like usual: just because you are asking questions, you’re not necessarily coaching! Jim remarked that we should be careful  that we’re not asking leading questions, or those that give advice or make suggestions under the guise of a question.

For example, someone in the class said she had a client who is facing rough times with his importing business. He knows the only way to attract and keep business is to be cheaper  than his competitor, but he is unable to do that with the high cost of importing When Jim asked her the questions that she brought up to help her client, she remembered, “Do you think that you could or should be marketing your product differently - to a different country, or a different clientele?” Jim remarked that that particular question can be a leading question, as it seems to convey her point of view as to what the client should be doing.

Instead, we as coaches should look to broaden our clients way of thinking, and to make them more capable of thinking outside the box that they usually think in. So, we should be questioning them on their thinking, and encouraging them to start thinking differently. Instead of asking about marketing changes, we can ask them:

* “Has a similar situation happened to you before? What did you do? What do you wish you could have done differently? What would you have done knowing what you know now?”

*”Has this happened to someone that you know? If so, what did they do and what did they wish they did? If not, how can you find out?”

I’ve been worried about asking leading questions once I get my first client (which is close - I can feel it!). I know it’s going to be so difficult for me to NOT offer advice that I might say “How can I phrase this in a question?” But that would be self-serving too! Now at least I feel like I’ll have a handle on stepping back and thinking, “Am I asking this question for my own agenda? Or does it challenge my client’s thinking?” If it’s the former, I’ll scrap the question. If it’s the latter, I’ll forge ahead!

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Today I’m thankful for learning how to be laid back. I’m actually enjoying planning this wedding, which might not have been the case 6 months ago!

This was my first class at 10p EST, and it definitely wasn’t easy. Now that I’m old, I definitely started to feel it at 10:30p or so. And blogging at 11p is not fun! But I know that this is what I’ll do for the next few weeks, since a wise coach (aka Joanne) once told me that the Power Tools modules were the most helpful for her. She recommend that I take them now that I’m done with my Foundations classes, and that’s what I’m gonna do!

This was a bit tough in terms of getting the bridge line in clearly. I’m unsure if it’s because most of the students were in Asia and I never tend to hear them clearly, or what. Come to think of it, Linda (the teacher) was a bit fuzzy too. Kinda frustrating, especially when I’m in Brain-Is-About-To-Shut-Off Mode.

This class was, duh, the difference between commitment vs. trying. What struck me the most was that trying is basically committing with an out clause! For example, I’ve committed myself to taking 2 ICA classes a week but I’m trying to get a peer client by Jan 1st. If I was committed to getting a Peer Client by Jan 1st, then I would have one! But I find easy excuses (my show just ended, I’m going to celebrate my birthday, I have wedding stuff to do) to keep pushing the date back. Why? What’s stopping me? Now I think of it, I still think that it’s fear. I’m scared of having a Peer Client now. I don’t feel like I’m ready. I don’t think that I’ll have enough time. Which is why I’ve committed myself to trying to get a Peer Client!

Wow. That was a big relevation.

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Today I’m grateful for coming up with a positive action plan to help me not kill my mother, and I totally credit coaching with it. Instead of complaining about the situation, or throwing my hands up and surrendering to a strained relationship, I figured out how to approach her in order to keep everything in tact and (hopefully) not hurt her feelings. I’m really proud of myself for that.