Monthly Archive

The one piece that struck me the most today was when Angela expressed that it’s impossible to motivate someone when they don’t really want to do what they say they do. I think this works both ways - I can’t enthuse a client when I’m not passionate about what they want to do, and they can’t be enthused if they’re not excited about it.

I see this with my boyfriend, the less-than-a-handful of times I tried to coach him. I was met with indifference during some of the ideas that we came up with, and I knew that he wasn’t in the place to commit to what we were speaking about. When I would work with Joanne and I would “get it”, it was a light bulb went off, and I would enthuse myself!  And, because I felt like she was genuine in her enthusiasm, it kept me going.

Which brings me to a point that wasn’t addressed in class. This one student kept harping on how you enthuse someone (a) if you don’t see yourself as the “cheerleader” type and (b) if they’re on the serious side and won’t respond to it. I wanted to interrupt everyone and say, “This is what we’ve been talking about the entire time!” You don’t have to set out to enthuse your client - it’s something that happens naturally. And part of our job is to read other people, and if you feel that your client won’t react favorably to being a “cheerleader”, you tone it down. Or if you’re the type of person who feels fake by saying “Woo hoo! Go get ‘em!” and waving your pom-poms, then don’t do that. If it’s artificial, your client can smell it a mile away.

Think of all the teachers you had in your life. There were those sunny, energetic ones that would yell, “YES! You got it!” and there were ones that would smirk and say “Not bad.” The smirky one wasn’t enthusing you any less by toning it down. On the contrary, that teacher was probably more down-to-earth and the “Not bad” was just as much of a compliment as the “YES!” lady.

So, the point of this rambling post is to bring home the points that:

* enthusing only works when it’s sincere

* you should enthuse in the way that feels comfortable to both you and your client

* enthusiasm can’t be a goal, as it only comes up when something clicks

This will (probably) be my last post of the year, as school is out for the holidays and won’t resume until the beginning of January. I’m planning to kick it up to two or three classes a week AND take on a Peer Client, so make sure you keep coming back to read about (and comment on!) my journey.

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I’m grateful for delivery guys, who will bring me Chinese food at 8:30p in the cold so I don’t have to cook.

I feel like I have been gone forever! I haven’t blogged since 11/18, which means I haven’t taken a class since then…..and it’s definitely had an effect on my attitude and demeanor. I’m not taking care of myself as well, and I feel like I’m taking a few steps back. But now that I’m able to take a class this week and next, and will start full-swing next month, I’m going to be more aware of doing what I need to keep moving forward.

On an unrelated note, my show opened and I’m having a blast! I never felt so prepared to open a show (80 hours of rehearsals will do that to ya!) and I’ve been confident about my performances. The fact that people seem to genuinely like the show is the icing on the cake! You can read our reviews so far here http://www.theatermania.com/content/news.cfm/story/12185 and here http://www.nytheatre.com/nytheatre/west6055.htm

OK, enough PR. Back to coaching!

Today I took enthusing with Linda, and while I thought this was a cut and dry topic (”Energize your clients! Tell them they can do it!……..OK, you’re dismissed”) there were some eye opening moments. The first is that, in order to create enthusiasm in your clients, you have to genuinely be engaged with them. It’s not enough to go “Yay! You can do it! Great job!” because if it’s coming from an artificial place your clients will smell it from a while away. But if you’re engaged in the new behavior they’ve executed, or in the idea that they just committed themselves to, you’ll be able to enthuse them with your interest and excitement. I kept flashing back to my sessions with Joann (I miss you, Joann!) and how she’d squeal “All right!” when I got a positive response from a new behavior, and I’d feel her pride and her excitement and I’d think/say “Oh yeah - that was great!” So I guess that enthusiasm leads to acknowledgment as well. Epiphany!

I also learned how important it is to live in the moment, and how enthusiasm transpires from a creative process, building something from the ground up, and living in the now. We spoke a lot about what kids playing in a sandbox are like, since those are the most enthused beings out there! They don’t worry about being judged, and they fully live in the moment while being committed to whatever it is they’re playing. Their enthusiasm feeds each other, and ideas take off from there. I hope I remember this analogy when I start coaching, since it will help me get the worries out with remembering every little thing I’ve been taught! Being a perfectionist can trip you up a lot.

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Today I’m grateful for taking class and recognizing that I need to come back to myself.