Foundations: Effective Feedback (Part 1) and Advanced Coaching 100: Creating Structures (Part 1)

As you can see, Wednesday was a back-to-back night for me. Because I’ve been upset with all of my Jew commitments (all of the High Holy Days are in September, and either on a Wed or a Sat when I usually take class) as well as my social commitments (weddings and babies are taking up two full Sept weekends), I decided to try a twofer night. That’s right: two classes in one night. Back to back even! I admit I did it as a semi-experiment, to see if it’s something that I could handle / enjoy, but I could not and it was not. I lost focus and interest quite a bit during those two hours, even though the classes didn’t bore me in the least. I was also upset that I couldn’t find the energy - or feel like I had the time - to blog about my class right when it was over, like I’ve been committing myself to do. That’s why I’m here on a Friday night tied to the keyboard. Well, not literally tied, but ya know, I like to blog when it’s fresh. And at the ripe old age of 29.5, it doesn’t stay fresh for long!

Advanced Coaching: Creating Structures (Part 1)

Since this was the class that I took first, I’ll start with this one. I still feel weird taking a class called “Advanced Coaching” when I’ve only taken 2 other classes, but I know ICA is a free-for-all so I figured I’d try it out (another semi-experiment). ICA is right in that the class made perfect sense, but since Creating Structures was about creating a structure for your coaching business, I felt like it was way ahead of where I’m at. I have at least 4 months before I start coaching, and a class on writing your policies and procedures was a bit far out there for me (although when I just wrote that I might be coaching in 4 months - which is sooner than I originally thought - I might not be as far ahead of the game after all!).

Jim (the teacher’s) Policies and Procedures were written so well I wish he’d give us ICAers permission for the copywrite! We also spoke about standards and boundaries, and that while clients have to agree to certain things when working with you, you also have to hold yourself up to your own standards so they know what to expect.

We also got into the legal aspect of these agreements, and I’ll now definitely seek the advice of a lawyer before I submit them to my first client. While it seems far fetched for a coach to get sued, Jim gave some great examples of worst-case scenarios that really wanted to make me cover my tuchus.

Effective Feedback (Part 1)

Since Part 2 of this class was my first ICA class ever (as opposed to this, my fourth), it was thought-provoking to see how everything fit together. Again, I know that you can take Part 2 before a Part 1, but I do think that you’ll get more out of a class if you (a) take Part 1 first and (b) take Part 1 and Part 2 within a week’s time.

This class was more about feedback vs. criticism, and what’s really hard for me to grasp is that, technically, feedback is more than just telling someone your opinion. For example, if someone said, “Give me some feedback about my presentation” I would say something like “Well, the PowerPoint was point together well and looked great visually, but I got confused because you were jumping around from one point to another. You didn’t put the topics in a cohesive order, so it was hard to follow.” Well, that’s not feedback at all - that’s constructive criticism (which a class member said was an oxymoron, since anything defined as criticism automatically devalues someone).

With feedback, we’re holding up a mirror to someone and showing them how they acted or reacted, but in a neutral, non-judgmental way. So the better way to answer the question, “Can you give me some feedback about my presentation?” would be to say “You put that presentation together in a visually appealing way. I noticed, though, the you went right from a slide about the parent program to a slide about the student program, and then back to the parent program. That made it hard for me to stay on track with you.” With that example, I showed her what she did and then told her about the impact that it had on me.

This was a tough class and I feel like giving feedback is going to be a challenge for me. I’ve noticed recently that I’m very quick to want to help someone, so I’ll chime in with “advice” right away (whether it’s asked for or not). I love the idea of effective feedback, though, because I can be helping the student reach their own realizations and come to their own decisions, which make it much more powerful for them in the long run and puts lets pressure on me to have all of the answers.

Wow, these posts are getting long! If you’re reading this, thanks for sticking with me!

I realized that I forgot to put something that I’m grateful for in my last post. Today, I’m very grateful for my wonderful boyfriend, who loves me and supports me and provides for me - even if I don’t want him to. I know that I’m special because he chooses to be with me.