Foundations: Effective Feedback (Part 2)

Today was my first ICA class! After being reassured that YES, you can take Part 2 of a class before Part 1 (I love that about ICA), I dove in during my day off from work.

And they were right - I wasn’t lost or confused in the least bit! It was really interesting learning about what sort of feedback a client needs, and how to effectively get it or give it. I loved when Joanne (our moderator) asked us to think back on when we received good feedback and when we received bad feedback, because it brought me to all of those acting classes that I took - some that were inspiring and led to growth, and others that were just debilitating. I realized that, when I received inspiring feedback, it was because I was led to fully understand what was being told to me. For example, if I were to do a scene and the teacher said at the end, “That was horrible! I didn’t believe you at all when you told him that you loved him!”, I would immediately get defensive and shut down. But conversely, if the teacher said at the end of the same scene, “I didn’t believe you when you told him that you loved him. What was your objective right then?”, then that would get me to start thinking, and from a series of questions or exercises I would see what I did wrong, and what I needed to do in order to make the audience believe that I was in love.

And that positive, self-realization feedback is just what I need to give to my clients. Because I saw that even if I didn’t do a good job on the scene, if I felt like I had the tools to work on it and succceed the next time around, then I would feel good about myself and the direction that I was heading in. And isn’t that how everyone wants to feel? Isn’t that how you help and inspire people?

One of the other students said that it was also key to ask open ended questions, so the other person isn’t left with just answering you with a “yes” or a “no” or a “good” or a “bad”. The teachers/mentors/bosses that have helped me grow did the same thing. They would never ask, “So, what do you think?” They would say, “So, what’s the next step?” or “What are you going to work on this week?” or “How are we going to achieve this?” And even if they were bringing up something negative (”I didn’t believe you when you told him that you loved him”), I wouldn’t see it as such because they would say it objectively, not judgementally. It came from a place of support, and that’s what made me want to keep going.